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A meeting planned for opposition parties to discuss strategy and avoid multi-cornered fights has been postponed and will now take place on Monday, instead of Friday as originally planned, said the National Solidarity Party (NSP), which is organising and hosting the meeting. This follows a request from the Reform Party (RP) for the meeting to be pushed back as two of its key officers are on reservist training.

(Source: AsiaOne)

We could only imagine how it will play out.

Sebastian Teo (NSP President): I know that all of you have been busy walking the ground and drinking the teh-tarik at prata stalls since the announcement of the electoral boundary report last week. Thank you for taking time off to gather for this meeting.

Jeyaratnam (RP Sec-Gen): Paiseh ah everyone. Thanks for postponing. My guys just came back from reservist. They told me that the new IPPT system is a joke. They ran 13mins for their 2.4km run also can get gold ($500).

Low Thia Kiang (WP Sec-Gen): Huat Ah!.  SG 50 Bonus. Congrats to them. Anyway ah, this discussion very easy one. We already state where we want to compete. You guys can discuss which of the leftover areas you want.

Dr Ang Yong Guan (SingFirst chairman): As much as possible, we want to avoid 3-cornered contest. 3 cornered fight not beneficial, cannot remove PAP from power. We want a one-on-one challenge with the PAP. But it cannot be all the areas let WP chope first.

Chee Soon Juan (SDP leader): eh LTK. Your AHPETC kena jialat-jialat by Shanmugam in Parliament. Share with us leh where did all the money go and how did you do it. We are considering starting our own facilities management company in Bukit- Batok SMC

Low Thia Kiang: No la. All the money still here. We just don’t know where. Finding now. Once we find, then we tell you. But this one Sylvia problem, I think I’m moving to East Coast to contest hor. You all better don’t come kajiao me by contesting there hor.

Sebastian Teo: Ok lor. So gentlemen, let’s start with Tampines GRC. This four-cornered contest thing must stop now hor. NSP puts dibs on Tampines so the rest of you can go away.

Goh Meng Seng (PPP Sec-Gen) begins to walk out.

Sebastian Teo: Eh Meng Seng! Don’t like that la. Why you walk away. Later we go out lim kopi?

Goh Meng Seng returns to the meeting table.

 Jeyaratnam: When are we going to discuss our manifestoes? I’ve got my 500 page dossier here. And where’s the media? I thought we were going to have an open doors meeting. The Reform Party demands that we have transparency. We cannot simply be here for photo opportunities? Now, where is the media? I want them to take a photo of me giving out my manifesto.

Chee Soon Juan: Yes then the media can now show my reformed image. Today we like to talk about bread and butter issues, seems like it worked for WP.

Dr Ang Yong Guan: That’s why me and Jee Say left. You betrayed your supporters and your motto. Now we have Roy and Han Hui Hui.

Goh Meng Seng: Wah, so WP is PAP-lite. SDP is WP-lite?

Lina Chiam (SPP): Shakes head. Boys Boys. Can all of you please stop with the bickering? We need to forge stronger bonds between Singaporeans from the ground up. We can, we must and we will!

Chee Soon Juan: Yes Sister. The PAP is in panic mode now. MRT keeps breaking down. Singapore is celebrating its golden jubilee this year. The ground is sweet for us opposition. We must make this count!

Low Thia Kiang stands up and prepares to leave

Goh Meng Seng: Eh Thia Kiang where are you going?

Low Thia Kiang: Pritam Singh just texted me saying that the elevator in my constituency broke down. The caller was not his resident so he cannot answer him, ask me answer instead.. (inaudible cussing)

(To be Continued . . .)